7 Month Update!!

Here is a little video Chad and I did last night. We hope you like it!!!!

Our 7 Month Adoption Update... from Chad and Candy Pearson on Vimeo.

*Ends at 4:50 (Hey, no one's perfect!)

Love x5!!

So, today Chad and I have been married for 5 years!!! Whoo hoo! I don't mean to get all sappy here, but come on...our anniversary only comes once a year so give me a break! :)

Chad is seriously the best man I've ever met. I just realize more and more every day that we are perfect for each other. And it's the little things like when I want to bake something, he measures everything out for me because he knows I like to bake, but he also knows that I don't like doing all the measurements. Or how he always does all the dishes because he knows it's one of my least favorite things to do. He also knows how to comfort me when I'm down and how to make me laugh. One of my favorite things is we'll be sitting on the couch watching TV and a really sappy commercial comes on and totally makes me tear up (I cry at everything! :)), then I look over at Chad all embarrassed and just know he's gonna giggle at me, but there he is with tears in his eyes too! He's so awesome.

Anyway, the story of how Chad and I came to be together is a really cool story (of course everyone thinks their story is cool! :)). But to make a long story short, about a year before Chad and I started dating, I wrote a list, a list of what I wanted in a husband. I decided I wasn't going to settle for anything less than what was on my list and I prayed that I would not have any feelings for anyone until I found the person who was all the things on my list. My list ended up being 50 things! So, I wrote my list and then I prayed over it. I prayed not only that I would meet the person that was my list, but that I would also become my list because if I was gonna find someone that was all 50 things on my list, he deserved to have someone that was all 50 things too.

So, here's THE LIST:

1. Loves God with all his heart

2. Has a sense of humor

3. Is thoughtful

4. Is caring

5. Is sensitive

6. Is encouraging

7. Is challenging

8. Is honest

9. Is devoted

10. Is kind to others

11. Is genuine

12. Is sincere

13. Is romantic

14. Is spontaneous

15. Is respectful

16. Is not selfish

17. Has a healthy self esteem

18. Is driven

19. Has a dream

20. Considerate of other people’s feelings

21. Willing to SHOUT my name

22. Will hold my hand in public

23. Sees the good in people

24. Thrives on seeing or making people smile

25. Is a gentleman

26. Will stand by me no matter what

27. Can accept my past

28. Can accept my faults and help me though them

29. Is a good listener

30. Is outgoing

31. Wants a family

32. Can laugh at himself

33. Can fart in front of me (I would totally take this one back if I could!! haha)

34. Is playful

35. Sees beauty in this world

36. Is optimistic

37. Gets along with my family

38. Loves me unconditionally

39. Not afraid of change

40. Emotionally stable

41. Is creative

42. Is passionate

43. Not cocky

44. Not stubborn

45. Can admit when he’s wrong

46. Doesn’t hold grudges

47. Is realistic

48. Not sexist

49. Is forgiving

50. Is trusting/trustworthy

So, needless to say, Chad is everything and more on this list. And luckily for me, Chad pushes me to be a better person every day. I think I'm definitely the lucky one in our relationship and God has blessed me with an amazing husband and I am so grateful. He's going to be an incredible dad too and I can't wait to see him in action. ;)

I love you Chad!!!

xoxo,
Candy

P.S. I posted this list on our Tumblr page last year with a little bit more of our story. Feel free to check it out here!

6 Months!

I know we haven't been updating our blog a ton, but we just haven't had much to post since we're just in the waiting mode. But, I thought I'd go ahead and write something in honor of today marking our 6 months of being on the waiting list for our referral. Also in honor of today, I wore this beautiful necklace that my friend Katie Brabson gave me. She has an awesome blog so check it out! Anyway, my necklace says "Selam" (pronounced SELL-OM (kind of like the meat)) which in the Ethiopian language of Amharic (pronounced AM-HAR (as in CAR)-IC (as in the ic in RICK)) is a traditional greeting and it means "Peace".

When we first started this process we thought we'd be waiting for around 3 months, and at the most, 5 months for our referral. Well, now we are at 6 months of being on the waiting list and you know what I feel??? PEACE. Yep, peace. I keep hearing things like "You must be so anxious especially since this is your first child!" Anxious? No. Excited? YES!! We are so excited but what makes this process even more exciting and oh so cool is that we truly believe that God is in control! I'm not gonna say we (really, I) haven't had a few moments of weakness, but that's life. We naturally want to control things that are going on in our lives. But then, I just have to step back and remember that most things I try to control end up getting all messed up and when I step aside and let God work out the details, it is good!! I didn't say it was easy, but it is good. So... happy 6 months to us! God knows what He's doing!



Selam!!
Candy


P.S. I called in for our 6 month update and was told we should receive our referral within the next month or 2!! Yay!

Questions you want to know but are afraid to ask...

People are always asking us questions or making statements about our adoption, so I thought I'd compile a list here just in case you have some of the same questions but are afraid to ask. Some questions we've received have been awful. Some have been funny and some are awesome. I have to say that, no matter what, I really like talking about our adoption, even if people ask awful questions. It gives me a chance to hopefully make them stop and consider a different side to adoption that maybe they've never thought of before. I know I'll probably miss some questions, so if anyone has one, just ask!

One of the #1 things we hear from people is this:

"Isn't it funny how you always hear about people that get pregnant during the adoption or right after. I bet that'll happen to you."

This statement cracks me up and most people that say it just say it because they've heard it around and usually don't mean any harm when they say it. In fact, some of our friends have said it. The problem with this question is that you're assuming I would want to get pregnant during our adoption. That is a false assumption. TMI alert: We are taking precautions against that!

"What? If you can get pregnant, then why are you adopting?" Ok, so no one has actually come out and asked that, but I've seen it in people's eyes. :) Here's the thing...I have NO idea if I can get pregnant. I would love to, MAYBE one day, but Chad and I have chosen adoption 1st and not as a last resort. Here's my take on pregnancy: It sounds amazing and I wouldn't mind experiencing it at some point in my life, IF that's what God has planned for me. The truth is, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED for that aspect of my life and I'm 100% ok with that. I would absolutely be happy if all my children were adopted. I would absolutely be happy if in the future I get pregnant. I have found that the key to being happy is to trust that 1. God is good! and 2. God has a plan. I trust in that and am open to any way he brings me my children.

Our social worker actually did prepare us for statements like this. She told us that everyone will automatically assume that we are adopting because we can't have children. And that's ok if people assume that. We just feel that God has led us down a different path.

"Why does it cost so much and why does it take so long when there are so many kids that need homes?"

You would actually be surprised by all the different people involved in an adoption and especially an international adoption. These are people that are doing wonderful work and who I would never ask to do that work for free. There are homestudy fees, dossier fees, agency fees, government (Both US and Ethiopian) fees, legal fees and the list goes on. I am personally thankful for all the "hoops" and "red tape" because it weeds out the people with ill intentions and makes way for the people that have a pure heart towards adoption. And as far as the wait goes, yes, it can be a long process. But it will SO be worth it! We have to remember that we are dealing with government (US and Ethiopian) and these things just take time! I would actually be scared if I could get a child fast. That, to me, would raise a red flag.

"So, how much does it cost?"

It costs about the same as if you had a baby in a hospital without insurance.

"Why aren't you adopting from the States?"

If you know anything about Chad's history, you will know that he grew up with a multicultural community around him. We want that. We have a heart for that and, specifically, we have a heart for Africa. We WANT that culture in our lives forever. This is the path God is taking us down and we happily follow! I don't want to be harsh here and I say this in love, but if you want to ask us this question, please ask yourself first. :) Thanks. :)

"Why Africa?"

The answer above pretty much answers that. In a nutshell: It's where our hearts are.

"How long is the wait?"

We have no idea how long it will end up being. On August 24th we will have been on the waiting list for 5 months. Being on the waiting list means waiting for our referral. A referral is a photo and any available medical information on the child. All children are tested during the process for HIV, Hepatitis B, tuberculosis and venereal diseases. I have no idea how much longer it will be, but the cool thing is that I believe in God's perfect timing and don't want it to happen any faster or any slower than it's supposed to. Plus, the longer the wait means the less children coming into our agency's care. That's a good thing!

"Will you travel to Ethiopia?"

We do have that option. We also have the option to have our child escorted. We are weighing our options and will pick what we think is best for us.

"What gender and age will your child be?"

We did not specify a gender and we asked for a child under 12 months old.

"Do you get to pick out your child?"

No. Our agency has been doing this for a long time. We trust them 100%. They really focus on the child and on finding the perfect family for that child. For them, it's never about finding a child for a family, it's about finding a family for the child. Once we receive our referral, we do have the option to either accept the referral or to decline the referral.

"What agency are you with?"

We are with Adoption Advocates International.

"That child will be so lucky to have you."

Actually we feel it will be the other way around. We are so excited to be in this process and are humbled and in awe that God has called us to start our family through adoption. We really feel like we are the lucky ones.

Ok, that's all I can think of for now though I'm sure I'm missing some. Again, if you have a question I didn't answer, PLEASE feel free to ask!

xoxo,

Candy

Oh and check out our friends, Donovan and Julie's blog. They posted some funny but awful comments that people have made to them about their adoption.

How have you been?

Hey everyone.

Sorry we haven't posted much on here lately, but as Candy said in her last post, we are in the part of the process where we are just waiting for a referral.

It's a killer wait. I can't wait to see a photo of our new family member. Can't wait to introduce our child to our extended family.
Candy and I have been making ourselves very busy. Candy got a new job, which is AWESOME. She works for a non profit called The 410 Bridge. They help build relationships by connecting communities/people here in the states to communities/people in Kenya and help support those communities in Kenya with tools they need to become self sustainable. She is officially the Marketing and Communications Coordinator for The 410 Bridge. I am so proud of her and we are so excited to be part of this wonderful company and be able to help other people with what tools we have here.

I have been traveling... A LOT. We both flew to our friends Scott and Megan's wedding, which was held on a beautiful farm near Norman, OK somewhere. Such great friends and such a beautiful wedding. I then flew to Seattle to hang out with my parents before they left to go back to Papua New Guinea and also to attend my sister's wedding as well. Again, a great time and a my sister was such a beautiful bride. I love her and miss her family so much.

I then took my parent's car and drove to Portland for a quick cup of coffee with our good friend Lindsay and met her new husband, Nich. Then I continued down near San Fransisco, where I got to hang out with one of my best friends that I haven't seen for 5 years. Ryan and Vanessa are huge supporters of our adoption and it was SO GOOD to see them and hang out with them. Then I travelled down the Pacific Coast Highway to Long Beach, CA. The ride took 14 hours or so. I stopped a lot. It was so pretty.

While I was traveling, Candy had the opportunity to drive down to Daytona Beach, Florida and volunteer (with her whole company) at a youth camp called BigStuf. She had a blast getting to know her co-workers and hanging out with 3000 kids. The 410 Bridge actually set up a booth at the camp and they made a track that kids could walk around while carrying jerry cans full of sand that equal about 45 pounds or about 5 gallons of water. She said it was amazing seeing the look on kid's faces when they realize how heavy those jugs are and how long every day Kenyan women have to carry them to get water. She was definitely in her element. Also, another highlight for her that week was seeing the Daraja Children's Choir perform. What amazing and beautiful kids! She said they put a joy in her heart that she will not soon forget.

After doing some business and seeing some CA friends that I miss and seeing my artist Damion Suomi play some great shows - I took off and drove across the country back to my wife and bed. Overall - 3 weeks in other beds and I was dying to sleep next to my beloved (truth be told I had written "Precious" but Candy said that was too "Lord of the Rings") and sleep in my own bed. I had a great time and that helped another month pass.
So - yeah - that's the basic run down I guess. But trust us, when we have news - you will be the third or fourth to know. :)

This is a shot I grabbed at a look-out point while driving down PCH...